


What's the point?

by Serievore12



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 11:13:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7974769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serievore12/pseuds/Serievore12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cat didn't know when she promoted Kara that her life would become so dramatic.<br/>And one night it's just too much for her.<br/>Trigger warning for angst and suicidal thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything about Supergirl, all rights are to DC and The CW. I hope you enjoy it!

__

**Hey guys! Here is my first « English » fan fiction! I wrote it in french too as this is my native langage. The wonderful Song of LoN (on fanfiction.com) beta read it, and she was so fabulous I can’t find words. She makes stuff in my mind understandable in english and that’s not an easy task to do. Anyway, this fan fiction is a bit angsty, and quite dark, so please be aware of trigger warning about suicide. Enjoy the reading!**

****  
  
Chapter 1 –  


What’s the point? 

Cat Grant stood on her balcony, staring out at the cityscape without really seeing it. She leaned on the concrete balcony wall that kept her from the emptiness of the forty stories below her, sipping at her umpteenth glass of whisky. After spending countless nights drinking alone, with the city contemplating her, the alcohol had little effect on her. Everything seemed to have changed so quickly. 

Giving Kara a promotion had been the biggest mistake of her life, and every second since had been a succession of dramas and failures. Replacing her assistant had led to her losing custody of Carter. 

Her new subordinate didn’t notify her of the phone calls from her ex, which, in turn, led to a visit from a social worker at Cat’s home while she was away. The nanny wanted to call and alert her boss to the social worker’s presence, but the visitor told her not to. She had sent several letters announcing her visit, and the Queen of All Media couldn’t have possibly missed them all. 

Thanks to her assistant, Cat obviously never saw those letters. It was only when she came home at five that evening, a little tipsy, that her whole world came crashing down around her. The social worker had no other choice than to recommend giving custody to Carter’s father. And the judge had agreed. 

Cat was still haunted by the memory of Carter’s expression, when she had come through the door that day. 

Kara didn’t come to her office anymore for advice. Or for anything, for that matter. She had decided to pursue a career as a reporter in the alien domain, as new ones seemed to appear quite often in National City. Cat, whose suspicions that Kara was, in fact, Supergirl had been confirmed after the Myriad episode, didn’t want to intervene in the young woman’s career. She was glad Kara could take her first steps into the world of journalism under Cat’s supervision. But she didn’t get to see her former assistant, for whom she had too much affection, as often; and it hurt her more than she let show. 

This independence for Kara meant independence for Supergirl, as well. And the hero didn’t seem to need her mentor anymore. With Superman’s arrival in town, and the new ship that had crashed, Cat knew it was unfair to hold Kara’s absence against her. 

The alcohol increased her anxiety, and Cat wondered again, What’s the point? 

Sure, she had an empire; but what was the point if she had no one to share it with?  
Her thoughts were dark, her eyes tired, mind filled with self-disgust for letting such a situation happen to her and her son. 

She stared at the sky, gaze searching for a red cape, night after night. Her ears strained to catch the sounds of any nearby disaster that Supergirl would be helping out with. All her senses desperately looked for a trace of the woman who saved the world on a daily basis, hoping she would come save her, too. She was ashamed of her hopes. 

How could a woman, who had fought so hard all her life, become so dependent on someone? She had always excelled at not needing anyone; but now she found herself pathetically hoping someone would come help her. She had treated Kara awfully over the years; it was to be expected that the young woman would want nothing to do with her after being freed from Cat’s demands.

The night was quiet, as another question suddenly popped into Cat’s mind. One darker, worrisome but vital.  
What if I disappeared? Right there, in that moment, what if Cat Grant were to cease to exist? Who would miss her? Who would care?  
Her affairs were in order. Carter was with his father. Kara was independent. Cat’s own mother hadn’t cared about her in a long time. 

She didn’t want to overthink it, for fear of changing her mind. Setting her glass on the nearby table, she lifted herself onto the edge of the balcony. The fresh air filled her with peace for a moment, before the heavy weight of her emotional pain returned as tightness in her chest. And the next second, she was letting herself plunge into the darkness. She thought of nothing as she fell. Adrenaline filled her with an electrifying sensation, giving her peace, once again, in that moment.

**Chapter 2 will be here tomorrow! ******


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here I am with chapter 2 of 3 you guys!   
> I hope you like it, please let me know if you do!   
> Again kudos to Song of LoN for the huge help with the translation.   
> Chapter 3 and final chapter will be up tomorrow (09-08-2016)!

**Chapter 2 –**

What’s the point?

What was the point of pursuing research? What was the point of fighting, if – even with both heroes working with the government – they made no progress?

Kara left the basement of the DEO, flying slowly through the darkness. She was exhausted, lonely, and frustrated. The planet that had become her home, and its sun which offered her warmth and power, seemed doomed, no matter what she did. Thanks to her and Clark’s presence, the Earth was becoming a battleground for many new aliens who sought revenge against Krypton.

Weeks had passed since Myriad had failed. At the time, it had seemed to be her most difficult battle; now, looking back, it was an easy task compared to the current problems.

When the ship had landed on Earth that night, Clark, J’onn, and she had arrived within minutes to investigate.

A man had emerged - a Kryptonian man - and had asked them to lead him to their palace. After that, everything had seemed to move fast. Much too fast.

The new arrival soon figured out that El’s heir hadn’t colonized the planet, as the counsel of Krypton had hoped. Worse, he was now at the mercy of this inferior species. With that knowledge, he decided to proclaim himself king, and repeatedly tried to take over, attacking famous people first.

Kara had kept constant watch over Cat since. She couldn’t let anything happen to her, the woman who had trusted her and whom she trusted. Not now, after making so much progress with her. But, of course, Cat didn’t know anything about that. Kara had remained at CatCo, but tried to distance herself from her boss. She didn’t want to risk the new Kryptonian finding out how important Cat was to her.

The unnamed man quickly realized celebrities didn’t have as much impact on society as he had thought. Less than a week after he had landed, he switched to targeting political leaders, and their families. And so, during the past few weeks, Clark and Kara had been forced to juggle their careers while still fighting the stranger. He was smart, and had learned to control his abilities faster than any other. He targeted the DEO on several occasions, and had hurt many agents, including Alex.

Kara was at CatCo less and less. Clark had taught her to constantly listen to the heartbeats of the people she cared about; he told her when he did it, it kept the loneliness at bay, and helped him remember who he was fighting for.

Neither of them had slept in longer than they cared to remember. They met at least once a week, halfway between Metropolis and National City, and watched the sunset together. It was calming, and a great opportunity to absorb more of the sun’s energy.

The Kryptonian seemed to tease both of them. One moment, he was threatening a leader. The next, he’d join some terrorists or criminals in attacking a random city. The body count was increasing every day, each loss adding to the emotional burdens the two heroes already carried. The shame and grief could be seen on their faces from a distance, their features always hard, filled with concern for their people.

Kara didn’t recognize herself in the mirror anymore. Often, she lost herself in her own reflection, and her mind wandered to Cat’s eyes, shining as she smiled at Carter. She would close her eyes in that moment, and make a mental list of heartbeats to check on. It was always Cat’s she would search for first, then Carter, Alex, Eliza, Winn, James, Lucy, J’onn, and Clark. Once confident they were safe, she would let herself hear all the other hearts beating on the planet. Those sounds would motivate her, and help her through another day.

She missed her coworkers. Winn and James knew who she was fighting; but Cat didn’t. She was often tempted to go see her, to ask for advice, and listen to what the older woman would tell her. But she didn’t want to involve Cat in the Kryptonian’s psychotic plan. She was too important.

As she flew above the desert, she let the sweet melody of all the heartbeats she now had memorized wash over her. As she listened, she sensed a change that made her blood freeze. She mentally reviewed each heartbeat, starting with those closest to her, and branching out until she found the one that had changed. In less than a second, she understood; she had to go back to National City.

When she was close enough, her super vision allowed her to see Cat Grant’s plummet toward the ground. In mere moments, she would reach the end of her fall, and the concrete would become her final destination. 

Kara’s vision blurred at that thought, and she pushed herself faster, dimly aware of the loud boom she left behind as she broke the sound barrier.

 

_**That's it for for Chapter 2 see you tomorrow for Chapter 3!** _


	3. Chapter 3 and final

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ****_Ok this is it, the final chapter, I really hope you like it!_  
>  I would like, one more time, to thank the great Song Of LoN for her help with the translation, this piece would have been awful to read if it wasn’t for her.  
> Also I would like to thank you all for the incredible feed back, I had reviews and comments that were too sweet, and all of you silents readers made me the happier of all writers!  
> So thank you all, enjoy the end of this story and please, if you feel like it, tell me what you think of the story!   
> 

Chapter 3 –

The impact didn’t hurt as much as she had expected. In fact, nothing had changed. It surprised Cat, who opened an eye and looked around. What she saw sent a shiver up her spine. Supergirl had caught her.

She didn’t know what to say.

Kara, whose eyes were wet with tears, flew them silently to her apartment. After Myriad, she knew Cat had figured out who she was.

She floated through her open window, and set Cat down gently in her living room. Her tiredness was catching up to her, even with the adrenaline coursing through her veins in response to what she had just witnessed. She could feel the weight of the last few weeks coming back to her. Using her super speed to change into something more comfortable, she came back to see that Cat hadn’t moved.

Kara took her hand, and led her to the couch so they could sit. She did not release Cat’s hand once they were seated. She felt guilty; she hadn’t been there for her boss when the woman needed her.

“I’m sorry,” she said slowly.

“About what, precisely?” Cat asked.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around these past few weeks. I’m sorry I lied about my identity. And I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

Cat looked puzzled. She had just tried to take her own life, and her savior was the one apologizing? When did this world become so weird?

“Kara,” she said. “You are not responsible for my misery. I made a choice tonight. A choice I would surely regret tomorrow morning; but that still seems a better choice right now, rather than having to wake up tomorrow.”

“You can’t think like that! Think about Carter!”

Cat’s expression darkened, and Kara suddenly wondered if something had happened to the boy.

“What happened?” she asked. “Is he okay? Cat, I should have been there. I should have –“

“He’s okay,” her boss interrupted. “Well, I think he is. I lost custody of him a few weeks ago.”

“What? How?”

Cat explained, bringing Kara up to speed. The young reporter’s eyes filled with tears again as Cat spoke, but she listened without interrupting. How could she let Cat lose her son? While she had been trying to protect her mentor, she had neglected her in the worst way possible.

“Miss Grant, we are going to fix it. I will talk to the social worker, and the judge. If I have to, I will threaten his father…”

“Stop!” Cat ordered. “I failed at being a mother. I let myself go. I was too dependent on things that made me weak.” She pulled her hand away as she spoke.

“While trying to protect you, I made you lose Carter. And now I’ve lost you,” Kara whispered.

“I beg your pardon?” Cat glanced up. “Protect me from what? I don’t understand.”

“The ship held someone we have been unable to stop. He is trying to hurt everyone, including the people my cousin and I care about. I didn’t want to put you and Carter in danger, so I kept my distance.”

Cat was furious. All her anger was redirected at Kara at that moment.

“How dare you?” She yelled, standing up and pacing once. “Who do you think you are to make decisions for me, without talking with me?”

“Do you think it was easy for me?” Kara snapped back. “Do you think being unable to see or talk to you for weeks hasn’t hurt me? Every minute of every day felt like drowning, because I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t have your advice to guide me. I couldn’t turn to you for help, without painting a target on your back.”

“You decided to turn your back on me when I needed you, to “protect” me?” Cat scoffed. “I don’t need your protection! Why would I be targeted anyway? Because I’m famous?”

“No!” Kara shouted, jumping up. “He’d come after your because you are important to me! How can you be such a brilliant journalist, and miss something so obvious?”  
Her words were met with silence.

Kara blushed, realizing what she had just said, before settling back onto the couch.

Cat didn’t move for a long moment. Then she returned to her seat, as well. 

Taking a deep breath, she said, “I think there are some things we need to discuss.”

**The End**


End file.
